As we enter the magical season of autumn, when we witness the leafs turning into the most beautiful color of brown. Summer season is over, the sun is resting and an icy winter is around the corner. While sipping on a hot cup of tea, I can’t help but reflect what happened since the bloom of spring. Allow me to share my cycle of life with you!
I just love art on so many levels. In my opinion, God’s creation is the most beautiful masterpiece ever! The aesthetics of rainbows, sunsets, seasons, the flora and fauna simply takes my breath away. I am blessed to live in front of my very own Dutch ‘Central Park’, so when I wake up in the morning and open up my curtains I am just thankful to be alive and witness His marvelous artwork. While getting ready for a new day, I take a quick look in the mirror and wonder isn’t it amazing to be the most fascinating creation ever? For His word says: “Yet you Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” – Isaiah 64:8 NIV.
I truly believe He is the source of all creativity. My spoken word poetry, also known as ‘Word Art’ is always inspired by what I see and experience in life. As we all know, life is full of ups and downs. During the ups, I always say enjoy the ride while it lasts. After the downs, I find out that it doesn’t kill you but makes you stronger! In my 37 years on this earth, I have had my fair share of trials and tribulations in this life time. By overcoming them it has taught me that everything happens for a reason. God’s ways are extremely mysterious and can raise a lot of questions, but experience has taught me that He really does use our missteps for good. As we walk with Him, with every step we take He gives us a piece of this gigantic puzzle called: LIFE!
Art made by Erwin Olaf
Still, there are certain moments on this life’s journey when I just don’t understand the reasons and seasons. Let me elaborate on this part and share what’s been going on in my family, so you can understand my confusion.
There is a time for everything – In December 2018, I flew to Surinam to celebrate Christmas and New Year’s Eve with my father’s family. When setting foot on my country of birth’s soil, I was welcomed with eyes filled with sadness. My father’s brother was fighting against cancer and hospatalized during the holidays. There was no ‘Merry Christmas’ and still we tried to make the best out of it by celebrating life together. The realization that it might be the last time, we wondered if he would live to see a ‘New Year’.
While he apologized for the trips we couldn’t make due to his illness, I tried to be strong and hid my tears. I begged God for his healing, but unfortunately my strong uncle lost the fight two months after. Due to work, I wasn’t able to join my parents for his burial in Surinam. My brother and I, wrote a ‘GoodBye’ poem for the family based on this bible verse: “There’s a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” – Ecclesiastes 3 NIV. It was hard not to be there for my aunt and cousins, which made mourning difficult for the family in the Netherlands but God gave us the strength. I am just grateful that I got to spend his last Christmas and New Year’s Eve before he passed away. “My dearest uncle, may you rest in peace with all our other loved ones who have departed from Earth! I know you are in a good place, until we meet again!”
A time to mourn – In May 2019, we received wonderful news that a cousin of ours was pregnant of a healthy baby boy. My heart was filled with joy as she was praying for this child her whole life. The thought even crossed my mind, that perhaps the passing of my uncle created space for the arrival of new life. Shortly after the big announcement, she needed bed rest since the pregnancy asked a lot of her body. While taking a huge risk to carry her child full term at her age, she sacrificed her health to meet her son.
I was allowed to sit at her bedside in the hospital and speak words of life into existence, but her unborn son choose to sacrifice his life to save his mothers. At 7 months in the womb, he returned to his Creator in Heaven and is forever her guardian angel now.
Even though, I know God gives life and takes it too. It was hard to see my cousin loose this precious blessing, to see her struggle with her health afterwards and try to move on with her life. While mourning the loss, she had to deal with her surroundings who didn’t know how to react to such a situation. This was painful for her! Often we can’t find the words to console a grieving mother, father, wife or husband. If you don’t know what to say just show them love by ‘giving them a tight hug’ or a ‘I’m so sorry, I’m with you’. During the ceremony the family wrote heart felt poems for our little Kiyan-Dean Alexander. Sweety, we were all heartbroken we didn’t get to meet you!
A time to heal – In September 2019, I finally got to celebrate some good news at Moak Pancakes (hipster spot) with my 18 year old cousin who was fighting against cancer as well. So young and such a warrior! During this battle between life or death, I had the honor of leading her to Christ. After months of intense chemos and prayers for healing, God heard us! She is healthy, her hair is growing back and her body is in recovery now. Hallelujah! I am thankful to our Lord and Savior for sparing her life! Next week, she will be turning 19 and we will be celebrating her victory with a huge party! She’s super shy, so I was asked to end the evening by sharing her testimony and giving The Most High all the praise for her REBIRTH!
The Bubba Sparxxx Pancake Moak Pancakes in Amsterdam
Do you find yourself wishing that all of this was just a dream? Well, unfortunately these stories were not fictional but based on real life. The past months, have really been an emotional time for the family and myself. Transitioning towards a new season isn’t always easy, but doesn’t autumn teach us that the fallen leafs of a tree are symbolic of letting go? You see life is short, so when it does get tough and you don’t understand the reason of the season. I pray that this Holy Scripture will give you the strength to move on and trust that better days are coming: “Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.” – Jeremiah 31: 13 NIV
Feel free to leave a comment or ask me questions about the topics above!
4 Comments
I’m sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing from your heart. Am sorry about those happenings. They definitely took a toll on you. It’s encouraging to read that you found comfort in the Comforter – The Lord God Almighty – He gives and He takes. His ways are not our ways and so are His thoughts. In everything, His will and purposes stand. May we always pray that His will is done on earth as is done in heaven. That way, our faith in Him will be strengthened as we respond to His revelation in a given situation. Let’s be encouraged that His Word, which is Himself, stands for ever – He is the creator and we are His creation.
I personally share part of your journey with sickness and death of loved ones. In 1991, I donated a kidney to my then 11 year daughter and she regained health, went back to school and all the family and friends were happy. Three years down the road, she experiences a rejection of the donated kidney and passes on two years later! The kidney rejection set me raving and asking all sorts of questions to God, but not audibly! During that time, in 1993, an answer came through John 9:3 “…, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life”. Following that revelation, I received salvation and many lives have been transformed as a result. Those are some of the wonders of our God.
So keep up sharing, there are lives that testimonies of your nature touch and transform from chaos to complete.
The Lord Jesus Christ bless you.